Wednesday, December 27, 2006
there's a lot i could say....
but really i am realizing that in the end, i am all alone.
i cannot trust anyone... to know what's best for me, to give me perfect advice, to have a clear head.
even i myself am swayed by the most base things.
i am a whirlwind, it has been said.. like a tornado, that comes and goes faster than you can prepair for, and in the wreckage left behind, you ask yourself, what happened?
i have to accept that even though i think i know ed better than any one on earth, and even though i think i understand the implications of everything he has done and said, and is still saying and doing, and even though i beleive i have the best plan of action, for ALL of our welfare... he is as guilty of heeding others advice as he accuses me of, and no matter what i think or say or feel, everything he does hurts me. every word every thought, every demand, all the begging, pleading and threatening.. it all hurts, and it won't go away, and i have to just give up.
he is determined to do, just what will hurt me the most, and i am determined to never give in to him again, as i see the mess he has made of our life, and i cannot trust him to make a healthy, well thought out, unselfish decision, ever, and so it begins.
we must fight it out, in the courts, through 'legality'... and people who don't know us, or see the situation clearly, will be forced to make decisions on our lives, based on so called fairness, and beaurocratic ideas of welfare.
oh well...
my husband never loved me.. oh well.. no biggie.. i guess there are worse things
our marriage is beyond repair
he won't listen or respect a single thing i say, but demands to have 'a say' in every future decision i make
he doesn't trust me
he doesn't look to my well being, or ask himself what wopuld be the best option for me... he couldn't care less...
and you know what, he never cared, and that is so clear to me now.
10:31 AM - 6 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
scotts nurse
I'm sorry renee. I cannot take this all in. If we move to Michigan, though, i'll be there for you. You know, literally. 5 hours away.
Posted by scotts nurse on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 at 9:02 PM
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Star
MOVE TO MICHIGAN :)
Posted by Star on Thursday, December 28, 2006 at 6:51 AM
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kenny and camilla
support support.
Posted by kenny and camilla on Thursday, December 28, 2006 at 10:55 AM
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Amythyst
If you ever need to talk or have a night out, you know that i am there for you girlie. Things will get easier....but it will take time.
Posted by Amythyst on Thursday, December 28, 2006 at 3:12 PM
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♥christie♥
I have nothing of value to say, but I'm still here.....checking in on you.
Posted by ♥christie♥ on Friday, December 29, 2006 at 12:40 AM
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Atim
i also have nothing of value to say, and i am also just leaving this to say that i am here for you.
Posted by Atim on Friday, December 29, 2006 at 12:49 PM
there's a lot i could say....
but really i am realizing that in the end, i am all alone.
i cannot trust anyone... to know what's best for me, to give me perfect advice, to have a clear head.
even i myself am swayed by the most base things.
i am a whirlwind, it has been said.. like a tornado, that comes and goes faster than you can prepair for, and in the wreckage left behind, you ask yourself, what happened?
i have to accept that even though i think i know ed better than any one on earth, and even though i think i understand the implications of everything he has done and said, and is still saying and doing, and even though i beleive i have the best plan of action, for ALL of our welfare... he is as guilty of heeding others advice as he accuses me of, and no matter what i think or say or feel, everything he does hurts me. every word every thought, every demand, all the begging, pleading and threatening.. it all hurts, and it won't go away, and i have to just give up.
he is determined to do, just what will hurt me the most, and i am determined to never give in to him again, as i see the mess he has made of our life, and i cannot trust him to make a healthy, well thought out, unselfish decision, ever, and so it begins.
we must fight it out, in the courts, through 'legality'... and people who don't know us, or see the situation clearly, will be forced to make decisions on our lives, based on so called fairness, and beaurocratic ideas of welfare.
oh well...
my husband never loved me.. oh well.. no biggie.. i guess there are worse things
our marriage is beyond repair
he won't listen or respect a single thing i say, but demands to have 'a say' in every future decision i make
he doesn't trust me
he doesn't look to my well being, or ask himself what wopuld be the best option for me... he couldn't care less...
and you know what, he never cared, and that is so clear to me now.
10:31 AM - 6 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
scotts nurse
I'm sorry renee. I cannot take this all in. If we move to Michigan, though, i'll be there for you. You know, literally. 5 hours away.
Posted by scotts nurse on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 at 9:02 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Star
MOVE TO MICHIGAN :)
Posted by Star on Thursday, December 28, 2006 at 6:51 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
kenny and camilla
support support.
Posted by kenny and camilla on Thursday, December 28, 2006 at 10:55 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Amythyst
If you ever need to talk or have a night out, you know that i am there for you girlie. Things will get easier....but it will take time.
Posted by Amythyst on Thursday, December 28, 2006 at 3:12 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
♥christie♥
I have nothing of value to say, but I'm still here.....checking in on you.
Posted by ♥christie♥ on Friday, December 29, 2006 at 12:40 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Atim
i also have nothing of value to say, and i am also just leaving this to say that i am here for you.
Posted by Atim on Friday, December 29, 2006 at 12:49 PM
posted by 1weirdgirl at 9:22 AM
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